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WARNING:
By entering this website, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Order of Weasels and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as we shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it.
Information provided on or thru this Home Page is intended solely to provide general guidance on matters of interest for the personal use of the Reader of this Page, who accepts full responsibility for its use. It is provided "as is," with no guarantee of completeness, accuracy, or timeliness, and without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including, but not limited to, the warranties of performance, merchantability, non-infringement on any rights of a third party, and fitness for a particular purpose. Nothing herein shall to any extent substitute for the independent investigations and the sound technical and business judgment of the Reader of this Page. Laws and regulations are continually changing, and can be interpreted only in light of particular factual situations. The information on or linked to this Page does not constitute legal, accounting, tax, counseling, music or consulting advice, and should be used only in conjunction with appropriate professional advice obtained by the Reader from a suitably qualified professional who understands the Reader's particular factual situation. By logging on to this homepage, the Reader holds harmless and indemnifies White Tree Productions / Babydog, it's Agents, Allies, friends, neighbors, second cousins, step-neighbors-in-law and anyone else from responsibility for anything at all including brain damage and / or attitude changes caused by reading this homepage. No liability or responsibility is assumed for any errors or omissions in the content on the server. Please note that the materials on the server may be changed, updated or discontinued at any time without notice.
THIRD PARTY WEBSITE LINKS:
This Web site may contain links to the Web sites of the third parties. These Web sites are not under control of White Tree Productions / Babydog, and White Tree Productions / Babydog is not responsible for the contents of any Web linked sites. The presence of Web site link to another Web site does not imply endorsement by White Tree Productions / Babydog of these sites, or any association with the sites' operators, or of the products and services described therein.
Any transactions with third parties, including delivery and payments for goods and services, any conditions and warranties or representations related with such transactions are solely between you and third parties. White Tree Productions / Babydog hereby disclaims all responsibility for any liability or damages which you may incur or suffer as result of these transactions.
DISCLAIMER OF ENDORSEMENT: Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, organization or service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the author, webmaster or organization. The views and opinions of expressed herein do not necessarily state or reflect those of the author, webmaster, organization or his employers, and shall not be used for advertising or product endorsement purposes.
ASSAULT BANJO CONTROL ACT OF 1968: With respect to the Assault Banjo Control Act of 1968, Readers are reminded that a five-day waiting period is required of all banjo purchasers, and a background mental-health check is required of all purchasers who look like they might be able to afford to pay cash for a Mastertone.
IMPORTANT : This webpage is intended for the use of the individual reader & may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended reader, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this webpage is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use & may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this webpage, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself & your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your pets. If you have read this webpage in error, please add some nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Some government agency might someday require us to inform you of the following:
Notice: The most fundamental particles in the products that we sell / distribute / play with are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.Important Notice to Users: The entire physical universe, including the information that we provide, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe subsequently re-emerge, the existence of the products that we sell in this universe cannot be guaranteed.
Public Notice As (maybe soon) Required By Law: Any use of the products that we sell / distribute, in any manner whatsoever, may increase the amount of disorder in our universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process may ultimately help lead to the heat death of the universe.
STANDARD DISCLAIMER: This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. This page uses recycled electrons. List each check separately by bank number. No animals were mistreated or abused in posting this document to the network. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Don't pet the dog. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Sign waivers with your real name. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. Not our yak. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Not a Republic. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No Dihydrogen Monoxide used. Some humor and satire included. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. The Chaplain is out. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Warranty void if serviced by non-authorized personnel. Drop in any mailbox. Etoain schrudlu. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Not made from real Girl Scouts. Post office will not deliver without postage. This can contains a head-enhancing device; do not shake vigorously. Not associated with the Mattresstone banjo company. List was current at time of printing. Spandex weight limit applies. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Free dung to all who apply. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Surcharge for non-members. Not the Beatles. Not Mike Seeger either. Don't try this in your living room; these are trained professionals. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. All models are over 18. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Due to the nature of the game of squash, this racket is not guaranteed. Shave your pits. Ceci n'est pas une pipe. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Repeated blows on head may damage brain. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Out to lunch. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. TANSTAAFL. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. Register Mongols, not crossbows. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. Banjos have been known to cause fun in laboratory animals. No flash photography. No returns unless defective. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. My brain hurts. Don't even think about parking here. There is no Rule Six. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Do not put the base of this ladder on frozen manure. Approved for veterans. No parking. Yes, it is a Mongol Plot. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Crunchy Frog not included. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Under penalty of law, this tag not to be removed except by consumer. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. Etaoin Schrdlu. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Follow the yellow line to the place of execution. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. This side towards enemy. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. They're lying. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. Gentlemen will remove their hats. Link to these pages at your own risk. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Wear your cup. How's my coding? Call 1-800-UP-YOURS. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Steve Goodbar east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. Beware of geeks bearing GIFs. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. All your base are belong to us. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices unless indicated otherwise. Keep off the grass.
In other words:
This document contains information which is nothing to do with you or anyone and even if it does we will deny it and you may be sued or terrorised by smart bastards with no morals and a strong sense of Latin so you are bloody fortunate to have got this far in this warning without having shiny suited geeks in tight pants banging on your door and dragging you off to court.
You have been warned.
AND DON'T FORGET: This web page, and all original artwork, logos, sound bytes and weasle bytes are copyrighted up the ying-yang, so if you steal them you might get a visit from my lawyer ....... or worse, you might have to face a buddy of mine from the Carolinas named Bubba who has a truly evil (and painful) idea of what is and what isn't funny. And he likes to laugh.
If you really MUST use some of the artwork ask permission first. You'll probably get it, as long as you give credit and a back-link.
You can link to these pages without asking. If you are caught stealing bandwidth by linking to a pic from these pages from our server, then you are likely to find the pic has been renamed, and a new, completely inappropriate pic of enormous size that will cause your page to take about two hours to load has been substituted.
